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Pizza and Cakeby Dana Snyder-Grant It's Monday of President's Day weekend. I've been less social than usual these last three days - hanging out with my husband and our cats, and holed up with a fine book. But it is time for dinner and I put the book down. Dinner takes place a few times a week in our common house. This is the heart of our cohousing community, where people gather for meals, meetings and parties. The common house was the most recent product of our ten years of working with two dozen other families to locate land, hire professionals, get permits and financing, and build our 24-house neighborhood on the side of a hill in Acton, Massachusetts. 'Cohousing' was named by two American architects inspired by communities like this in Denmark. There are now 46 cohousing communities in the United States, and many more in the process of being created. Resident-designed and resident-controlled, cohousing has a pedestrian orientation to encourage spontaneous interaction. Cars are parked on the periphery. Walkways connect the homes. There is open space for free, safe play. All this appealed to me and my husband, who both valued community. And although we chose to be child-free, we still wanted children in our lives. We got to know and like our future neighbors in the process of working together as amateur developers, using consensus to make our decisions. We drifted apart from our neighbors a bit while the individual homes were being built: we all focused for many months on countertop designs and appliance selection and the best, white wall paint colors for our individual homes. We came together again in the common house. Although I have been in a solitary mood all day, or maybe because of this, I look forward to tonight's meal. Depending on the whim of our volunteer cooks, it's not unusual for there to be meat and vegetarian options at our dinners. Tonight, four year old Kaya, and her mother, Sue, are to prepare pizza for the kids; Jim and Nola are making chicken stew and vegetarian chili for the adults. Kaya is standing behind several trays of pizza and greeting those of us who have signed up for this meal. Her head comes up just above the counter and she looks very official in her blue apron. I walk around the counter to kiss the top of her head and tell her she looks great. "Are you having fun, honey?" She nods her head vigorously, but stays focused on the trays of pizza. I move to the large pots of chicken and rice, whose aroma is making my stomach growl. After doling out a portion for myself, I notice the bowls of condiments for the chili - sour cream, yogurt, cheese and cilantro. I nab some yogurt to go with my chicken. My husband and I look around and decide to sit at a table with Mary. She is talking excitedly with Jane about a successful day at her art studio, leading workshops for kids and parents. Mary is a retired French teacher, now an artist, whose creativity has inspired many in our community and beyond. At the age of seventy-two, she continues to embrace the child's joy and her own. Martha and Bill are alone at a table next to us, talking intently. Their two boys, ages 10 and 4, are off playing somewhere. I know that these parents appreciate this time for conversation. Two drumming teachers live in the community. Some of their students will give a drumming recital after dinner. My book calls me home, though I am a bit wistful about leaving. I worried that my need for "alone" time wouldn't feel acceptable, living in a cohousing community. But, in fact, it is nights like this, when I remember that sometimes I can have my cake and eat it, too. Tonight, my solitary spirit enjoys a visit to the warmth and camaraderie of friends in community. Dana Snyder-Grant is a social worker and a freelance writer. She lives at New View Cohousing in Acton, Massachusetts. Back to the New View Community Life page.
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